You and the night and the Turkish delight

Five Hundred Pounds

Tell me why, just tell me why…

500 Pounds

That's what you weigh

If I could only get near you

500 Pounds, if I could see your face last

Then I wouldn't have to put the lipo on the card again

And every day brings a new appetite

And every cake brings a new sacrifice

What do I see in you my beautiful blue whale

People say I could make a fortune selling glue

Cos you’re 500 Pounds, that's what they say to me

But I tell them that you'll always be a million dollars to me

We're at the beach

a crowd gathers round

I see sailing ships out on the sound

A fleet of Japanese whalers came in on Christmas Day

I took a harpoon in the head

I took another harpoon in the legs while you got away

What do I see in you my beautiful blue whale

People say I could make a fortune selling glue

Cos you 500 Pounds That's what they say to me

But I tell them that you'll always be a million dollars to me

Norris McWhirter came by asking for your name

I chased him away with all those vultures

I chased him away

to keep you away from shame

500 Pounds That's what they say to me

500 Pounds That's what they say

I tell them that you'll always be a million dollars to me

a million dollars every day